September 20th, 2005
Hello, computer!
It's been such a long time since my last entry...
I suppose I've been busy. In between computer break-downs and more-frantic-than-the-usual procrastination, I sleep most of the time. Quite an oddity, really. I've thought of a number of reasons why sleep is so tempting these days:
1) The rainy weather. Soooo cold! Definitely bed- weather.
2) Driving. My sister makes me drive most of the time... it can be really tiring, draining and totally frustrating especially when there's traffic. It takes a lot out of you, it really does. Ironically enough, I used to get pretty angry when I don't get to drive once a day. Now it's the opposite. The novelty of it wore off.
3) Escapism. Yep... I'm guilty of this. Whenever I'm stressed out or confused, I look at my bed and in a blink of an eye, I'm down and dead to the world! It's so much better to face whimsical problems in dreams than boring, irksome ones in real life.
4) Parallel universe. I've got a theory: it's possible that while my body in this world is sleeping, my soul transfers to another world and wakes up in another ME - a ME who's a secret agent out to save the world, only to find out that she (or I for that matter) is actually destroying it!!!!! And in having so many activities, she (I... whatever) needed more waking time, therefore causing the real me (a boring arki student) to sleep more often!
*WARNING: Did not know what she ate that made her delusional. Imagination overdrive. Warning. Warning. WARNING!!!*
poof.
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Sane again. Enough about my theories on sleep, let's get on to the real world.
AF interviews are ongoing. It worries the hell out of me to hear that a lot of apps quit during the interview. I think they don't really realize the implication of this action... it's such a "so near yet so far" situation that it's so freaking annoying to hear that they give up just like that on the last stage! It makes me want to bloody scream!!! I mean, it's like watching a suspense movie that builds up and builds up and then POOF... the ending was cut off because the cd was pirated. That TOTALLY sucks.
Found out something earlier that kind of made me feel a little awkward. I hate it when that happens. Nnnnggggghhhh. It's just not the same anymore once you know. And Others know. And the Others give you knowing glances. Add that all up and you have an awkward situation. Nnnnnngggghhhh.
Am not doing quite well in arch 21. Same with math 53... and physics and HELL. Everything. The yearly angst mode hath cometh. When in angst, am not productive. When not productive, hating thyself is a favorite past time. When one hates self, one gets more angsty. Vicious cycle. Reduced to phrases. Not coherent. Am pathetic.
RIGHT.
Up and coming event: a Brownman Revival concert... if we can pull it off. More work, less play, less sleep... less waking moments for ME the secret agent. I certainly hope that we can pull it off.