The Land of Crimson Dreams

crazytesuka

One exam. One plate.

You'd think that after this horrific sem, it's all over. I can finally rest like living and party like the dead this october. But noooooo....

There's this whole concert thing going on this December and I'm smack in the middle of it. No rest for me apparently. Why... why did I get into this?! I, the noble procrastinator. I, the "dakilang batugan". I, the nervous bundle of energy without direction. I just hope to God we pull this off. That... or call it off. HEHEHE. (honestly, I prefer the latter)

Geesh, I feel so.. bleh.

And now I have this whole rebellion thing going on with me. The thing is, I asked about sleeping over a friend's place about a week ago and my dad was quite vague about the whole thing. I brought it up again earlier and he got all worked up about it and told me that he would pick me up at 12. I was so freaking outraged that I almost, but not quite, shouted at him. Then I resolved to go no matter what. Kahit na magcommute ako pauwi the day after, no problem. Basta, bahala na. I'm just so tired of all this protective crap. I know my parents mean well but HELLO?! I'm in college now for pete's sake! It's so freaking unfair. How am I supposed to learn how to live independently if they won't let me be? I've tried so hard...

And here we go again. Around the freaking merry-go-round 'till colors blur and sickness comes out. Around and around 'till I get used to it. Around and around 'till I love it; with eyes wide open and a freakish smile plastered on my face. 

 "Wear it until you love it!" - Man in the Iron mask.

Puberty came late, I suppose.

Sabi ko na nga ba dapat UP Baguio first choice ko. -_-

crazytesuka

I haven't heard this song in a while but for some reason it's going around and around in my head (so beautiful!):

You could be the devil in my bed
You could be the angel in my head
You could be the voices that I hear
I'm singing along because it sounds just like you're near
Cause you're so beautiful
You're beautiful today
You're so beautiful
Beautiful in every little way
Cause when you're coming around
I'm off the ground
I've got to say
You're so beautiful
You're beautiful today

I could be the drug you can't resist
I could be the antidote you missed
I could be the love you hate to fear
You're filling the hole inside your heart with feeling near to me

Cause you're so beautiful
You're beautiful today
You're so beautiful
Beautiful in every little way
Cause when you're coming around
I'm off the ground
I've got to say
You're so beautiful
You're beautiful today

Can we make it through
Together we got to fly
Don't you know I got to fly
Cause when you're coming around I got to fly
Don't you know I want to fly

And I know
And I feel
That I could learn to hate just like you
And I know
And I feel
That you could learn to love just like me

Can we make it through together
I've got to fly

*sigh*

Am stuck in dad's office, working as a temporary secretary/ driver/ manual laborer. I had to earn the money that was originally given to me as allowance. How annoying. The original secretary had to go home because her sister died, soon after her father's death and her mother's operation. Such tragic events. Kinukulam daw. Well, that's superstitions for you.

I won't be able to go to anj's party later. Dearest father said that it's too far... blah blah... it's too late... blah blah... you might drink... duh duh... NO. So much for being rebellious. Hn. Demmit.

random drabble: NAKAKAINIS KA TIERRY!!! I was trying ever so hard NOT to think about it... but you just had to blurt it out! Now I'm being tortured by thoughts of what if's. NGAR! GRRRR!!

That's it. For now. I hate tabulas. I wrote a longer entry but it got lost so now I'm writing a poor replacement for it. Hn.