I was reading my org's yahoo groups' daily mail when I realized how inactive I've become... and how so fucking selfish I am these days.
Granted, I've had my share (and more) of the organizational activities last year and I'm sort of still trying to get used to my current... situation *cough*, but I've realized that I'm so concentrated on myself recently. I've also realized that it's soooo tiring to think of myself all the time. If I weren't me and I knew me, I'd be very annoyed at me.
Whining all the time.
Thinking all the time.
Adjustment periods (of any kind) suck big time. It's times like these when one thinks of oneself, sort of fixing one's introspective. These are the times when over-thinking happens and one is so wrapped up in oneself that people around that person are suddenly not given the attention they deserved. That person gets lost in some sort of limbo where he/she only exists, no one else; thus, appearing to be (and perhaps is) uncaring towards others. That, m'dears, is called selfishness.
And once selfishness is realized, guilt comes.
That's precisely what I'm feeling right now. Guilt. Because in the past week, I was so worried and caught up in this new situation, particularly my role in it, that I didn't even think about what HE feels about it. He probably feels the same - nervous, unsure, and a bit insecure. I now see that I haven't given him as much attention as he deserved because I was busy thinking about myself all the time. Well, hopefully now that I've realized this, things will gradually change for the better and I'd be more comfortable about our relationship in the future.
But it's sooo difficult. Why is it difficult?
STOP THINKING CHESKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's so simple. Open up the clam!!!
Currently listening to: aircon sounds
Currently reading: Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris
Currently watching: the letters appearing in the computer screen
Currently feeling: amused. and frustrated
