The Land of Crimson Dreams

crazytesuka

High: My thesis topic got approved! And JL, an LA student, decided to do his thesis on my thesis. It was approved too! *hurrah!* In other words, I wouldn't have to do this alone.. in the research part at least. ^_^

Low: A lot of other people's topics weren't so lucky. MLB* is crazy. SCALE is all that matters to her. Anything with a COMPLEX or FACILITY, she approves right away. Single structures are a no-no, no matter how huge they are. She doesn't even consider technology-research based topics that I think would actually be more helpful, given the country's situation. And she's forcing topics to people who don't want to do them - isn't that important? I mean, I think one should like doing what he/she's doing to do an excellent job... something that she aims for this year. She's absolutely contradicting herself! 

And the thing is, she demands excellence when she goes around being BUSY?! The students are there, willing and waiting, and she shoos them off. I mean come on, at least hold up your end of the bargain.

The sad thing is, Ma'm Celine and Ma'm De Leon can't even speak up and defend the students, for goodness' sake. HELLO? DICTATORSHIP, anyone?

Another low is REALITY. I was researching (yes, I spent 2 and a half hours in the library reading thesis books, believe it or not *sigh*) and I found a disheartening situation: a thesis with one similar topic done by a group with 3 members. And they only conserved ONE effing building. And I proposed to do a freaking complex in addition to conserving a huge provincial capitol??? I must be going out of my mind.

So I did what every architecture student bitten by the sharp jaws of reality did: I stressed out. Stressed out about the stress darkly looming ahead of me. YEP. My brain's in overdrive. Isn't it obvious? I'm writing a very long entry here.

Fortunately, I'm not in my depression mode yet. I'm in my "DO-SOMETHING-NOW!" mode where I try to organize things. I hope my depression mode doesn't come this time around... I don't think I have the time to mope, dammit.

Stay positive. Stay positive. Stay positive.

And now, back to my research.  

crazytesuka

December 2 Chapter VII

by Taken by Cars

A sinking call
An out of sight hello
From a thousand wailing walls
It's like you
It's like you never left at all

I throw your word around like child's play
Listen to what I say
I throw your words around like child's play
New blues for a new day

And when I'm gone
I want you to wonder
And when I stop
I want you to play

And let the best of you just see right through me
Cause I can't see

But I wasn't where you were
No I'm never where you are
I'm in my looking glass view
Always almost too close to you
I'm always almost too close to you

---

I wonder if this is about suicide. The video (and lyrics) suggests it, methinks. There's a certain mix of anger, doubt, confusion, and last but not the least, longing in this song. It was portrayed really well in the sounds and the melody too... very trance-like... kind of reminds me of a lighter version of UP Dharma Down. Love it. ^_^

LSS. Hm.

edited: I'm absolutely obsessed with the song and the video. It's so addictive! :3 Now I think it's more about killing the haunting memory of a significant someone. It's very Alice in Wonderland-ish, the running everywhere with weird people and situations. LOVE the primary color candy scheme. It suits the music. ^_^ Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLjdLnB3Abs

crazytesuka

SWEETNESS by Jimmy Eat World

if you're listening, whoaaaooaaooo!!
Sing it back, whoaaaooaaooo!!
String from your tether unwinds, whoa, whoaaaooaaooo!!!
Up and outward (but only) to bind, whoa, whoaaaooaaooo!!!
I was spinning free, whoaaaooaaooo!!
with a little sweet and simple numbing me.
Are you listening? whoaaaooaaooo!!
Sing it back, whoaaaooaaooo!!
So tell me what do I need, whoa, whoaaaooaaooo!!!
when the words lose their meaning, whoa, whoaaaooaaooo!!!
I was spinning free, whoaaaooaaooo!!
with a little sweet and simple numbing me.
Yeah, stumble until you crawl, whoaaaooaaooo!!
Sinking into sweet uncertainty

*ooooohhhhoooohhhhhh....*

If you're listening, whoaaaooaaooo!!
Are you listening?
Sing it back, whoaaaooaaooo!!
I'm still running away, whoaaaooaaooo!!
I won't play your hide and seek game, whoaaaooaaooo!!
I was spinning free, whoaaaooaaooo!!
with a little sweet and simple numbing me.
What a dizzy dance, whoaaaooaaooo!!
This sweetness will not be concerned with me.
No the sweetness will not be concerned with me!

AM ABSOLUTELY GAGA OVER THIS! Singing and jumping and dancing to this song by myself in my room is the best thing to do EVER!!! (Especially when one needs to lose some excess frustration) Took me a while to figure out who the artist is... as well as the title of the song. I'm so happy I found it at last... *mumumumu...* :3

WHOAAAAAOOOOOOAAAAAOOOO!!!!

other absolutely great songs by JEW:

Middle

Work

Hear You Me

*damn. Have to remind myself to buy their old album, Bleed America. Along with Taken By Cars. ARGH. I miss buying authentic albums. :3

crazytesuka

One weird girl who loves eating (but doesn't grow fat) and one tall, mysterious, anti-social guy. Both odd people... yet in the end, they understood each other. In the end, their minds clicked and that was what made them stay together. (Beauty is the Beast)

Mental/ intellectual compatibility - without this, shallow relationships based on physical and emotional attraction won't last. A lot of people say that as long as two people's brains are in the same wavelength, they'll do fine. I truly believe in this.

The thing is I think I've experienced the extremes in this, but I haven't actually found the right mind.

I think I'm intellectually lonely.

I hate stupid people. I understand leni when she said this before. It's really frustrating to talk to people who are slow. At the same time, it's also frustrating to converse with people who are too intense in a way that they think too much. I prefer the latter though, over the former... at least my brain is challenged. The sad thing is, I've met more stupid people that smarter ones, even in UP.

By the way, "smart" doesn't necessarily mean academically. I mean it generally. I admire natural curiosity and creative imagination. Deep insights on things that are seemingly simple are turn ons (both mental and emotional). I relish a good conversation that may mean everything and nothing. And the best thing about mental compatibility is the comfortable silence - no words, no effort. Just that unspoken understanding between two people (or more).

Also, intellectual stimulation doesn't have to be between two people of the opposite sex (come to think of it, so does a relationship, but what the heck). I can have a good conversation with either a girl or a boy but the level of satisfaction is the same - can I call that a brain fizz? Haha. It's sexless and epitomizes the true meaning of the word EQUALITY. Pretty neat.

The problem is, I think it's much more difficult to find an intellectually attractive person. One has to get to know the other to gauge brain fizz compatibility. Sometimes, it's even faked. In the end, it gets tiring... so the effect is a lowered standard to be able to settle with someone with a lower wavelength. *sigh*

Damn. I take the word "complicated" to a different level, don't you think?

Haha.