October 1st, 2008
On the Merry-Go-Round
I've recently discovered the source of my procrastination: my mood.
The mood swings that I was so proud not to have? I have them... and in majorly lethal doses. I guess I was in denial of the fact that I do have them. Also, the simplicity of my mood swings perhaps contributed to my denial: what I want, I will get, and what I don't, I will avoid.
I don't get why people can't accept the reason, "because I want to" or "because I don't want to." They always look for another, more unselfish reason that is more acceptable in their world. Well, wake up and smell the roses. Everyone is selfish and even wanting a more unselfish reason is selfishness in your part. Besides, being selfish is not exactly a bad thing.
Anyway, back to mood swings.
I get in a certain depression mode sometimes, especially when I detect a lot of stress-related activities looming over my head. In these moments, I get physically sick, feel more lethargic than usual, and crave a lot of comfort food. Most of the time, I just want to SLEEP. Therefore, I DON'T DO ANYTHING USEFUL AT ALL. Escapism, anyone? The thing is, it usually lasts a week and I'm over it and get back on track. It depends on the level of my depression though so sometimes it's shorter, sometimes it's longer.
So that's my mood swing system. And the main source of my procrastination.
The key to solving this is for me to be HAPPY.
...
...
Ha. No wonder.
Reminds me of my housing class, where we detected all the problems... but the answers are so vague and impossible. Ha. Ha.
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One thing that WILL make me happy though (even for a little while) will be Hayao Miyazaki's new uber cute movie under studio Ghibli, Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea. Soooo kawaii!! I want a copy, dammit!!!
