Sanity, here I come

July 1st, 2009

After 7 months of non-existence in tabulas and a life-changing experience, I finally am able to express myself again.

I have attempted a few times before to write again but whenever I face the blank sheet of digital paper on the laptop screen, the chaos that is my brain becomes too overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions zooming around in its already cramped space, and I become stumped. Now that there is a semblance of order in my life, I can write… I can finally write without crying or blanking out.

Where should I begin?

Of course, the one who changed my life: Drew Gabriel.

Don’t worry, it’s not going to be a mom’s entry where all she writes about is her son/daughter and how great or good-looking he/she is (it is true though. Well then, that’s said and done. Haha!). I will write about the truth: I AM TIRED. Once you’ve become a mom, you’re never going to be completely anything else. It will never end. Even now, as I am writing this entry, I check the crib where he is sleeping every other sentence I write.

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... and here I am, several days later, continuing this entry. He woke up while I was typing. Yep, what can I say? Drew first before Tabulas. Hahaha. :D

Okay, so just let me say this: He's so cute!!! ^_^

He's worth waking up at night during ungodly hours, holding in pee while rocking him to sleep, not drinking more than a bottle of beer every inuman sessions, still having left-over flabs from the pregnancy, and being one size bigger when it comes to clothes and shoes (permanently, according to mom. *sigh). I am tired, but I still get that feeling that I should do more just to make him comfortable, just to make sure he's okay. :D

I do need breaks once in a while and (I can't believe I'm saying this), thank goodness I'm enrolled this semester. Seeing people makes me feel like my normal self. I don't want to become one of those moms whose whole world revolves around their children. Besides, I'm still in the process of figuring out my life after all.

So all in all, I'm on my feet and I'm moving forward.

I couldn't have done it without all my family and friends. And of course, the doctor and the pedia and... you get the picture. hahaha. :D